I’m sitting here trying to figure out a way to be loved by people...
But all they see inside me is evil
but that’s not me, that’s a demon
something covering up everything I’m feeling
last night I heard a voice
telling me I had to make a choice
to either live and wait or die and rejoice
I chose to live and wait but there were consequences
my life wouldn’t change... the pain would still be endless
I guess my decision came from my disturbed senses
Because if it came from my heart, I would have said die
That way I wouldn’t have to cry every night
And I wouldn’t have to pray that the dark would transcend
And extinguish the light
but my soul isn’t bad, I’m just in a situation of terrible fright
I wish other people could see that
but they think I’m mentally ill
addicted to drugs and pills
but that’s not true
I’m an innocent girl with a free will
confused with a world of people who want to kill.
Sandra Flood is, in her own words, “a little skater punk that only guys accept...” She says she can’t find many female friends because “they all think I’m a freak... I’m not though, I’m just a little different from the rest of them... but to them different means a loser, a freak, a druggy, a killer...” She wrote this poem so everyone can see the real her.